crying never solves anything

i am havin one of those days that includes me shutting out the people around me and me thinkin and thinkin till....
crying over spilled milk they say is a waste of time
how about crying before the milk is spilled? or when the milk is being spilled
crying...................we jus do it because we can
it never changes anything
we loose body salt in the tears we shed
we keep wiping them away from our eyes and they keep coming down
till we tell ourselves enough of it already
but do we really feel better?
........i hav concluded .............crying brings determination
the determination that helps to keep us going, growing, moving......just being alive again
i'm so sad again today
where is my joy and happiness?
spent last night reading my diary.......and then wondering
...........life...........
we are born...............helpless babies in this world
we grow up with friends.........nursery school
..........more friends in the elementary school
then secondary school............
we loose some friends along this secondary school path........they move far away from us............or their bodies are in a dark wooden box
then .......... university days............we make even more friends........and keep the ones from our secondary days..........
some never get to the last days of university
some do but only barely
some do and then one random day they just go
still as we get older.........we loose some forever...........are we sure its forever?

we just want to grow up till we get old and then its the right time we die
when we are OLD, like my great gramma
OLD because old is when we ought to pass on to what awaits us

here i am wishing we'll all grow old together and then die together
we may not hav come here together
but we met here and would love to keep on going and growing together
altogether,
not havin to miss one of us
not having to cry over one of us
we want to laugh and cry and shout and smile and weep
Altogether!
......................mattafix